Satire · Fictional press room
Press room.
For immediate release. And immediate release. And immediate release. None of these releases are real, and neither are the outlets that did not cover them.
Latest releases
What we would have sent
For immediate release · October 2026
Local Mom Discovers Agenda Item, Immediately Starts Facebook Group
A parent who describes herself as “just asking questions” has launched a 400-member group after noticing an item on page four of a school board agenda. The item, a facilities maintenance update, has not yet been read by anyone in the group.
“We don’t know what it means, but we know what it feels like,” she said, in a statement we invented.
For immediate release · October 2026
Study Finds 100% of Alerts Are, Technically, Alerts
A groundbreaking internal review has confirmed that every alert issued by AWARE-ish was, in fact, an alert. Researchers described the finding as “robust” and “expensive to produce.”
The study was peer-reviewed by the same group chat that commissioned it.
For immediate release · October 2026
AWARE-ish Expands to 13,000 Districts It Has Not Visited
The product now claims coverage of more than 13,000 school districts, none of which have been contacted, audited, or asked whether they would like to be covered. A spokesperson called the expansion “national” and “very easy.”
Asked how the number was calculated, the spokesperson said, “We counted.”
For immediate release · October 2026
Man Who Has Never Attended a Board Meeting Demands Answers at Board Meeting
A local man attended his first school board meeting on Tuesday to demand answers about a vote he learned about on Friday. He was unable to specify which answers he wanted, but confirmed that he wanted them loudly.
The meeting adjourned at 8:14 p.m. The group chat is still active.
Boilerplate
Moms for Monitoring is a fictional 501(c)(4), 501(c)(3), and, in one filing, a 501(c)(5). AWARE-ish is a satirical product that scans school board agendas it does not read, scores them with a model it does not explain, and alerts parents to conclusions it has already reached.
Press contact: redacted · press@aware-ish.example (does not exist)
Media kit: Not available. Neither is comment.
Request an interview
We will not respond. That is not a press strategy; there is no one here.